9/05 Julia (Dunlap) Seymour

Friday Five: Pie-ola!!!

Please answer these five questions about pie:

There has been a lot of buzz lately about Pope Benedict XVI and his stance on condoms. The pope has a new book out, called The Light of the World: The Pope, the Church and the Signs of the Times. The book explains the pope’s thinking on some controversial issues, but has not necessarily clarified the Roman Catholic Church’s position to the fullest extent. In a tiny section of the book, the pope mentions condom use by prostitutes to prevent the spread of HIV and AIDS. 


Even sight unseen, many hailed this as a change to Vatican policy, a sign that the RCC was relaxing its stance on birth control. However, as Vatican spokesmen have clarified in the past few days, this has nothing to do with birth control- it’s about disease prevention. Furthermore, this does not express a change in position, but a hope that a person willing to protect another person from a deadly disease might be moving along a moral path that would end with appropriate sexual behavior (i.e. abstinence until heterosexual marriage). The scope of the papal comments do not even include the use of condoms within the context of couples in which one of them is infected. 


Cardinal Raymond Burke explains the nuances of the pope’s words here: 

I don’t see any change in the Church’s teaching. What [the pope is] commenting on — in fact, he makes the statement very clearly that the Church does not regard the use of condoms as a real or a moral solution — but what he’s talking about in the point he makes about the male prostitute is about a certain conversion process taking place in an individual’s life. He’s simply making the comment that if a person who is given to prostitution at least considers using a condom to prevent giving the disease to another person — even though the effectiveness of this is very questionable — this could be a sign of someone who is having a certain moral awakening. But in no way does it mean that prostitution is morally acceptable, nor does it mean that the use of condoms is morally acceptable. The point the Pope is making is about a certain growth in freedom, an overcoming of an enslavement to a sexual activity that is morally repugnant [unacceptable] so that this concern to use a condom in order not to infect a sexual partner could at least be a sign of some moral awakening in the individual, which one hopes would lead the individual to understand that his activity is a trivialization of human sexuality and needs to be changed.

So, let’s be clear. The use of condoms is not a real or moral solution to sexual immorality. It does not undo the wrong of prostitution (the prostituting or the purchasing of services). This is true. 


If you notice, however, Burke does mention that the efficacy of condoms to prevent disease is questionable. Well, it’s not 100%, but it’s better then nothing. In fact, it’s a lot better than nothing. And the use of condoms to prevent the spread of disease is a step in moral progress. 


I’m still undecided, leaning toward no, however, on whether this statement represents moral progress on the part of the Vatican. It’s hard to believe that person could engage in sex for money, but refuse to use a condom because of the say so of the Holy See. Also, the condom use that desperately needs to be advocated (with regard to disease prevention) is in married couples that include an infected partner. The spread of HIV and AIDS in the global South is exponential in this regard. Presumably, the RCC feels she has already taken a firm stand against prostitution, but I’ve heard much more commentary on the evils of birth control in general than on the sex trade around the world. (Though, I will admit, I don’t look for information on the Church’s activities with regard to the sex trade, so I could be missing some amazing, significant and abundant work.) 


I’ve read several memoirs by nuns and priests (and ex-nuns and defrocked priests) who married shortly after Vatican 2, believing the advent of married clergy (if not women clergy) would be right on the heels of the sweeping reforms. It didn’t happen. And many chose their marriages over their vocations. To be fair, many didn’t have the option of returning to their vocation. 


Almost every Catholic I know has used birth control. Even those with larger families realized the blessing in reaching one’s limit and that God continues to bring fruitfulness into one’s life in many and various ways. I think those that hope the pope comments in The Light of the World might be a sign that of changes to the RCC stand on birth control are hoping in vain, just as those did who thought Vatican 2 was sign of further openness to come. 


In an interview on All Things Considered, Father Joseph Fessio gave this example to explain what Benedict meant by moral progress: 

[The pope is] not giving a scale of evil or good here. But let me give you a pretty simple example. Let’s suppose we’ve got a bunch of muggers who like to use steel pipes when they mug people. But some muggers say, gosh, you know, we don’t need to hurt them that badly to rob them. Let’s put foam pads on our pipes. Then we’ll just stun them for a while, rob them and go away. So if the pope then said, well, yes, I think that using padded pipes is actually a little step in a moral direction there, that doesn’t mean he’s justifying using padded pipes to mug people. He’s just saying, well, they did something terrible, but while they were doing that, they had a little flicker of conscience there that led them in the right direction. That may grow further, so they stop mugging people completely.

The way I see it, with their continued hardline on condom use in marriage, the Vatican might now be wrapping their pipe in foam pads for some people. But they’re still hitting people far and wide and they don’t show signs of stopping any time soon. 

This week is a curious limbo in the church year. Even though is the week that follows Christ the King and, thus, the last full week in the church year, the Advent preparations are underway. It’s like the week between Christmas and New Year’s, you might not quite be ready to pull down that tree (and you shouldn’t until 6 January), but you’re ready to get on with the New Year and whatever that will look like.

This year, though, I experience a little hesitation. For churches that are on a lectionary cycle, meaning sets of readings prescribed through three years, this Sunday is the beginning of Year A- the year of Matthew. Matthew is not my favorite.

I adore Mark, the quick pacing, the sparse detail, abrupt beginning, the equally abrupt ending.  I savor the slow, unique parables of Luke, the inclusion of women and children, the surprise appearances of Samaritans and righteous Gentiles. I enjoy the special perspective of John- the classic verses, the unique metaphors, the secrets half-exposed for the exploring.

But Matthew… Matthew is the first gospel, not because it was written first, but because it was historically prominent in the Church. Matthew has the structure and instruction, from Jesus, about how church members should treat one another. Matthew has the beauty of the sermon on the mount, but it’s contrasted with the undertones of Jesus as the new Moses, leading the people to the final Promised Land. This would be great and gorgeous, if it didn’t come with some underlying anti-Semitic tones. (And, yes, those are in John as well, but this isn’t about John.) Some of the undertones are there in the gospel and some appear through the historical lens of interpretation that has been laid over Matthew for centuries.

In the year of Matthew, we have to deal with divorce. With the fig tree. With more specific passages about the paraousia (the Second Coming and judgment) than any other year.

In short, Matthew requires real pastoral work- wrestling for blessing and leaps of faith. And this work won’t just be on my part. It will be on the part of those who are listening. You too will have to consider where the good news is in this gospel. How Jesus Christ is revealed in, this, the church’s favorite gospel. What does it mean to say “Jew” and mean the religious Hebrews of Jesus’ day? What does it mean to break traditions, to have a Savior who brings not peace, but a sword, to see Jesus as the new Moses?

Due to the shape of the church year, it can be easy to feel like the Bible just happens to you. You show up and there are readings. But there is a shape, from anticipation to birth, from slow realization of God’s epiphany to the anger and crucifixion, from resurrection to the gifted Spirit, from the teaching and shaping of the church back to the triumphal hope in Christ’s return.

Matthew has a unique outlook on those events, an outlook that has shaped the church in years past and with which we are still shaped, by or against, today. Perhaps a good resolution for me (and maybe you) in the coming year, Year A, is to seek the good news of Jesus Christ according to Matthew and to be found by it.

Iced in today, I never left the house. I did some work while Dear Son napped (and I napped a little myself). In the spare moments, I thought about the dinner I will be cooking on Thursday. We’re having friends over, a couple we’ve know for a long time and their 9-month old daughter.

I’ll be cooking the turkey and a few of the side dishes. Of all the things to consider when we had a baby, I didn’t realize I wouldn’t be able to the hostess with the mostess any more, at least for a while. You just can’t pull out all the stops when you are sitting down every few minutes to help put shapes in a shape sorter or to read a Sandra Boynton book. Again.

Nevertheless, I pondered a few alternate cranberry recipes today. Considered variations on mashed potatoes. Reflected on the nuances of green bean casserole, which I love. I moved the turkey from the freezer to the fridge to begin thawing. I’ve pondered brining, but my husband doesn’t like juicy turkey (I know!), so no brine this year. (Though I still strive for moist turkey.)

Even with all this thinking ahead, I’m no kitchen perfectionist. There won’t be garnishes on the side dishes. No fancy folded napkins. No hand-carved radishes, ice sculptures or centerpieces. Just family, food and fun.

The truth is, I’m not much of a perfectionist in anything. I don’t worry about the details (and, occasionally, I should) because I think they’ll either get taken care of or they won’t matter.

I’ve read historical accounts of buildings, tapestries, gardens, etc. that would have a small flaw worked in because no one creates anything perfect except for God. Yeah, allowing one flaw is not my problem.

In the end, though, if I can’t be gracious and forgiving to myself, what am I gaining? It’s not that I’m a slob with a microwaved turkey and Potato Buds. No, I’ll be roasting, mashing, sampling and attempting to plate attractively. But I do think what will matter most is the company, the memories, the thanksgiving. And that will be perfect through the work of the Spirit, regardless of my cooking.

Name five things that were unexpected in your life that you are now grateful for.


My husband: When I moved to Nome, AK, I was set on staying for a year, maybe two and then going to seminary, from grace to grace. My prior dating experience said to me that I was probably not a person who would get married. It wasn’t about standards, but that I just didn’t seem to meet a guy who could keep up with me, much less occasionally set the pace. One night in October 2002, a guy spoke to a friend of mine in the Anchor Tavern in Nome and I turned around on my bar stool to join the conversation. Four days later, I ran into the same guy when he was flying Senator Ted Stevens to the island of Little Diomede and I was going along as a reporter. We ran into each other again at my house Halloween party and then off and on until he asked me out on 2 January 2003. And I guess we’ve never looked back. But I never saw it coming. 


My son: Yes, I know how it happened, but we weren’t trying. We weren’t surprised at the situation, so much as the timing, but we were excited about Beloved Son from the moment we knew. (Overwhelmed, but excited.) Now I couldn’t imagine life without this giggling surge of energy, tracking me around the house with stories to read, throwing things (spoons! shoes! the dog’s bowl!) into flower pots. (We keep the door to the bathroom CLOSED!) He’s into everything and he thinks it’s all hysterical. Everything is new and everything (almost) is fun. And I’m very grateful for his enthusiasm and love. 


XX, my autism intervention client: When I started at a 4-year school, I chose one that did a specific method of autism intervention, focusing on basic skills, repetition and positive reinforcement. I loved the work, but it was very, very frustrating. Since I do not have a child with special needs, it is difficult to imagine the day in and day out stress of that situation. Thus I am not judging the mother of this client when it seemed like she was undermining our progress. We would work to get him to use a spoon, she’d let him eat with his hands. We were working on “putting away”, she wanted to work on opening Christmas presents. As sympathetic as I tried to be, I felt frustrated. I remember leaving after a session and having a clear vision of only being able to do this kind of work for 7 or 8 years before being too tired, frustrated and burned out from the struggle to teach and to match goals. Releasing my vision of myself as Special Needs Therapist Extraordinaire made room for me to muse about my interest in religion and the recent appearance of the phrase “discernment” in conversations I was having. I hope that client and his family reached some of their goals and that they are all doing well. They taught me that it is possible to love something, but realize it’s not for you. 


Medical technology: You don’t always know you appreciate it until you need it. My father survived a surgery and healing of a broken neck. My son and I did not die when he became lodged in my pelvis. I’m glad we live in this day and age. I was grateful at the time. I’m far more grateful now. 


My best friend: We met working at a summer camp in NC in the summer of 2001. We connected, but I don’t think either of us had any concept of how much more deeply we would go. Nine and a half years later, we’re still supporting each other. We’re planning a big event for ourselves next year- a milestone birthday for both of us and our ten-year anniversary. Break-ups, deaths, moves, job changes, graduations, pets, birth, deployments… this friend has always been there. I think the thing that I appreciate about this relationship is that we know how much work we’ve put into it. Sometimes people make it seem like a friendship is effortless, but I think any close relationship takes work. We’ve had to learn how to be honest with one another, how to speak up for what we need,  to remember connections that bring the past into the future’s light. My first memory of her is during camp orientation, I see her sitting in a chair, telling us how to pronounce WIS-consin and finger- knitting. We’ve come a long way, though I know she’d still run me over to get to Justin Timberlake. 😉 

This morning I decided to come up with new lyrics for Old 100th or the Doxology for use during our children’s service. I love “praise God from whom all blessings flow”, but it’s hard to explain some of those concepts to a 3-year-old. I was trying to keep the same scan (number of syllables in time to the music), but I kept trying out different sentences. This floated to the top of my consciousness several times today until I finally solved the problem.

At one point, I was showering at the gym when I realized, I was singing to myself, not opera-style, but loudly enough that people nearby could hear me. I didn’t stop, though, but kept going.

The novelty in this sentence isn’t that I kept singing, it’s that I was doing it in the shower at the gym. The gym that I have managed to visit every day this week.

Like so many people, I’ve made many resolutions about getting in better shape. I’ve joined gyms before. And I’ve never made it past about a week and a half. The effort would get to me. I wouldn’t make the time and I’d always have excuses.

However, in mid-October, I decided I was done with that. I sought a new gym location. I made a new plan. I wear my workout clothes out of the house every day. The idea was that even if I didn’t workout, I was still developing a habit. I’ve now worked out consistently for 3 weeks and I feel like a commercial.

I have more energy!

I have more stamina!

I feel stronger!

I’m happier!

In all honesty, I realized the other day that I haven’t wanted to lay down on my couch and take a nap for a few weeks. And I’m really looking forward to working out. In fact, I feel disappointed when I realize I need to quit what I’m doing and get to work.

Which brings me back to my original point. I don’t entirely know how, but my mind works in a different way when I’m exercising. It’s like I can feel the synapses firing with new frequency and connections. Problems turn in my head and surface and I feel things coming to light. Exercise is helping me be better at my job.

This is still a new discipline for me, but the fact that I’m enjoying myself is going a long way toward becoming a habit.

New lyrics:

Thank God for everyone I know
For sky above and earth below
Thank God for moon and stars and sun
Thank God for family, food and fun.